Sweet Abyss
by It's Just Apple Pie
Summary: Just something that about Jane and Maura and the whole crew really. Just Maura and Jane in a car, with a little argument, and a few emotions. And there's always that Big Green Ugly Monster lurking close behind. Or perhaps, a different kind of monster altogether. They are cops after all. Chapter Nine: Unraveling The Darkness
1. Abyss

"Why _him_, Maura?"

She looked at me dumbly for a moment, and then realized who I was talking about and shook her head and dropped her eyes.

I clenched the wheel and focused on the road, "You could have anyone, and I mean _anyone_, and you have to go for him!"

She grimaced, and I realized I had started speeding and raising my voice, so I pulled my car over.

"And in my _house_."

She was still silent.

"You fucked my brother in my own home, and you have nothing to say for your self." I spat. "I mean I thought we were _friends_."

That stirred her, "It's pointless to respond to your abuse. If I had a brother, and you liked him, I would be happy for you _both_, because I'd be assured that both of you were safe with each other, rather strangers. I would be _happy_ for you." She looked at me with pure _venom _in her eyes, her nose flaring.

I was rendered speechless, and she took that advantage over me to continue.

"I _thought_ we were friends too, but apparently not. I mean, really. What is so bad about Tommy and I? I think we're good for each other."

At that I snickered. "Good for each other? Maura, you belong with someone rich and smart, and _not my brother_."

"I can't talk to you like this, Jane, you are closing your mind, and I don't understand why you can't be happy for me. It makes me want to cry, but I don't think you're worth crying over anymore."

My stomach clenched, and I felt like throwing up. All I really wanted was a beer. Well, a beer and a nice little dummy to beat the shit out of.

I started driving without another word.

Why _was _I so outraged they were together?

Tommy was a good guy, and she could help him.

So what was so bad? So wrong? So unsettling?

Why was my gut popping out of my… gut hole?

"Where are you taking me?" She asked, hardly enough emotion in her voice for me to notice she was tearing up, and slow the car down a little.

It wouldn't be the first time she cried because I was "driving recklessly"

Like I would _ever_ put her in danger.

"Home." Red light.

"Your home? Or my home?"

"Yours. Or would you rather come to mine, and fuck Tommy in my bed this time?"

"I wouldn't do that, and you know it Jane." Her voice hitches.

"Why not? Not hard enough for you?" That was a pun- well a little pun. And that right there was where I first slipped up. Good thing she's bad at pun and innuendo. I think.

I hope so. Green light.

"Why are you so angry? Do you think I'll hurt him? Or he'll hurt me?" She sounded so confused, trying to explain why I was acting out like I was.

The scientist in her had to explain everything.

I guess me hurting wasn't in her list of factors.

I wouldn't add it up for her. Red Light.

I couldn't.

I shut my mouth before any words spilled out and gave me away. That would _suck_.

"Jane." She wouldn't take nothing for an answer.

I decided to try and scare her off, which I kind of knew would back fire horribly on me. Call it what you want, but I knew she wouldn't back down. I had to be setting my self up. Green light.

"Either I tell you why I'm freaking out and being a cunt and I lose you, or I don't and you think I'm a cunt and we're still friends. So it's your choice. I'd rather be friends, it's nicer that way." Red light.

"Jane. Tell me."

Green light.

Silence.

Red light.

"I love you."

Green light.

Silence.

Red light.

"You're so much more than my best friend. And I just thought, maybe you wanted me back. But you want my brother. And that's okay, Maura, I'm sorry I was being so rude to you. I hope you can forgive me. It was selfish, how I acted."

Green light.

Silence.

Red Light.

Silence.

Green light.

Silence.

Red Light.

Turn right. Turn left. Turn left.

Car door opens.

Gasp.

Car door closes.

Turn right. Turn right. Turn left.

Green light. Red light. Green light. Red light.

Frown. Tear. Tear. Gasp. Grimace. Tear. Sob.

Blur.

Pull over, left side.

Tears.


	2. Attention

Every thing I had shoved down, into the deep dark corners of my mind was threatening to break through.

Jane had claimed stronger feelings then friendship for me, and I ran away.

Well I didn't run. I simply didn't _reply_- I simply exited with out a _word_ or a _look_.

How could I look at her? How could I answer?

If I had, I would have been forced to lie, and I've never lied straight to her face.

Why did she have to make things so difficult? Why was life so _tedious_?

Well, it wasn't with her. It was fast, and I always felt like I was trying to beat some sort of clock. Like if I didn't get her to smile, she'd lose interest, and I'd _lose_. Or if I didn't say something interesting, or _light_, she wouldn't be my friend anymore. It was all a really big headache.

I plop on to my couch.

"I made a mistake." I tell my tortoise.

How could I do that to her?

Maybe I didn't lie to her face, but she was still hurting, from the false truths I allowed her to believe.

Her bitter voice entered my thoughts, and I shuddered, shaking my head to get the sound out, and getting up for a glass of wine.

The doorbell rang.

I like to believe I don't make assumptions, but honestly, if it wasn't Jane at the door, it was very likely to be the one and only Tommy Rizzoli.

I closed my eyes, and poured my sour white rich-girl wine, as the Rizzoli's referred to it as.

Tommy preferred beer. And luckily I always kept some for Jane in my frigdorater.

I was about to go and open the door, when one flushed Frankie Rizzoli came barging through my door.

And then came Tommy behind him, head down, nervously shifting side to side.

The man who held my heart in his hand, the man who knew all my secrets and fears. The man who I trusted, who I confided in.

What was wrong?

"Frankie?" I questioned. He didn't answer. "Tommy?" Still silence, and he wouldn't look at me.

Frankie was looking at me though, in fact, if I was reading him right, he seemed _very_ angry. Jaw clenched just tightly enough to suggest distress, in the least. It would have been a dangerous look had anyone else wore it. But Frankie couldn't hurt me, could he?

"Do you guys want a beer?"

They grunted a yes.

I went to my fridge and handed them each one.

Tommy was playing with the sticker on the beer, when we had settled in my living room, and smiled slightly, "This is Jane's beer."

I shook my head slightly amused, "No. She doesn't own it."

Frankie shook _his_ head, smiling softly, "You buy it for her, Doc." He translated.

I nodded in understanding.

"So, I'm happy to see both of you, and such,but why are you guys here at such an hour?"

"Jane." Tommy finally looked up. I looked between both of them, Frankie nodded in silent agreement.

"What about her?" My stomach panged. "Something wrong?" I almost grimaced, but tried to hide it with a smile.

"Yeah, actually… She called me," Frankie started, "She was crying." He looked at me hard.

"Why?" I inquired, hoping he would say _anything _but "you".

Frankie looked irritated. "You're the Doc. You tell me."

"Well when she drove me here she was okay."

"It's late. It's like, 10pm. When did she drop you off?"

"Actually just a few minutes before you came."

"You let her drive home?"

"Yes, why?"

"You two usually have sleepovers."

"I didn't offer, she didn't ask."

The room grew silent.

"Why are you interrogating me, Frankie?"

"Because Jane is my sis, and she won't let me pick her up. She's got a flat. And I've never seen her cry before. _Ever. _Accept over this one guy. Or was it the dog? Well any way, _only once_."

My stomach lurched.

"A flat?"

"Yeah." Tommy nodded, "Nothing I can do to fix it either. She won't _move_ though. She's at the exit, and she can't figure out how she got her flat, it's driving her up the wall."

I got up and threw on my coat quickly.

_David Danker_

_Age 38_

_Criminal Record_

_Boston Area_

_Armed and dangerous_

_Cop killer_

_Rapes, beats, then kills._

_Finds victims on highway_

_Usually around 10 pm_

_Evidence #209: Barbed wire at exit_

"_I'll get you, don't you worry. I only need to trap one, and the other will come play too. You girls make it easy."_

_Court Order: Bailed_

_Release day: January 9__th__, 2012._

I slipped out of my haze, realizing I was running down my apartment building steps.

Frankie and Tommy were running down the stairs with me, asking what to do…

"Call Korsac, for back up. Tell him Jane is in trouble, and they let David Danker out today!"

"Okay!" Frankie said, already dialing the number.

With that I sped off towards exit 39. _Jane's _exit…

How could we let personal feelings obscure our priorities?

_Keep your partner safe_.


	3. Blue Volvo

Maura was speeding. She had never sped in her life.

Especially with _alcohol_, in her system.

But Maura didn't care, nor did she really notice she was speeding, or that she was a little tipsy.

For once she didn't care about being good, perfect, logical. She wasn't thinking about herself, or what would be thought of her.

She wasn't thinking about the ache in her chest.

She was a sleep walker, and it's not safe to wake those. Filled with determination and only one purpose.

_Get to Jane._

She didn't bother to connect the dots in her mind. Why was the road in front of her blurry? Why were her eyes dripping? Her cheeks wet? Why was she passing a red light?

No, she didn't ask these questions. She didn't analyze.

She was going really fast, yes. But she wasn't breaking any law- she was just trying to save _her partner_. She amazing, compassionate, _Jane_.

She was racing the clock again.

That damn clock, she was always racing it.

Logically she knew she couldn't race against time, time would occur no matter how fast she drove her car, but she didn't really care.

She had to beat time. She would make the impossible happen.

If she didn't Jane would be dead. Gone.

And Maura? Maura would have lost everything.

Well, Maura would have lost Jane, which obviously wasn't everything.

Sometimes it felt to Maura that Jane was everything.

So Maura would save her, and it was just that simple.

Maura hadn't noticed this but her car was going 150 miles per hour. Maura hadn't noticed this but a blue Volvo was coming perpendicular to her lane. Maura hadn't noticed this, but the light was red. Maura hadn't noticed this but she was about to get hit by that blue Volvo.

_David Danker_

_Brown Eyes_

_Brown Hair_

_6'1_

_150 ibs_

_Boston_

_Volvo_


	4. Leverage

Jane was out of her mind when he took her.

She was crying, _yes crying_.

Can you believe it?

Not to suggest she she's indifferent or bitter.

She just doesn't like to show weakness, it gives her an absence of control. She _thrives_ on control.

So crying, well it just isn't her thing. And that's why right now; well you just wouldn't recognize her.

If you know Jane you know she's passionate, considerate, and just all around incredibly caring. But you also know, she's strong. Brick wall strong. No wolf can blow her down, unless that wolf is named Maura Isles.

Medical examiner, best friend, love.

Jane didn't notice when the Blue Volvo pulled up behind her, just out of the corner of her eye.

Lack of control, lack of focus, lack of _mind_, really, was the reason for this.

Maybe her tears were in the way, but whatever the case may have been she didn't see him pull up behind her.

She was leaning on her car, after haven given up on inspecting her tires, she had gotten to her feet and stared at all the cars passing by, so fast. All just a blur, or maybe that was because her eyes were blurry. She didn't know.

She decided to close her eyes, and the moment she did, all but one noise escaped her notice.

She would know that _gasp_, that hitch of breath, that moan, anywhere.

This time it was on Exit 39. That's when it clicked. _David Danker_ _had a thing for exits_.

Jane snapped her head towards the noise, and saw Danker shut his car door.

_Maura was in his car_.

She had to be, why else would Jane have heard that noise, right before he shut the door?

Jane immediately tensed, _was she in the backseat, passenger seat, or the trunk?_

"Detective, good evening!" Danker asked, pleasantly enough to make Jane shiver.

"Not so much, I have a flat." Jane shot back, clenching her fists.

"Yes, Detective, that would be my doing, no doubt." He paused, but Jane wanted him talking so she stayed silent. Buying time to formulate a plan. Objective? _Get Maura. _So far the plan entailed kicking Danker's balls off. "I had to separate you two, I'm dearly sorry for the trouble of your tires. Two is always better than one, though" He smiled, genuinely. "More the merrier, after all. Wouldn't you say?" He took a step forward.

Jane stood her ground, reached for her gun, but then realized it was in her car.

When had Jane Rizzoli ever left her gun in her car?

Danker snickered at this, "Do you feel naked yet?"

"She's a medical examiner, I'm a cop."

"So?"

"Let's make a trade. Me for her."

"Oh, but why decide when you could have _both_? And you two, well, I know you two wouldn't mind _one-on-one_ time." He winked.

Jane grimaced, losing her temper a little.

"You all think you're interesting, edgy, different. _Slick_. But you're all the same. You all push and push until you go too far. You're out of line, _David_. We have you in the bag. Take us, and it will just add more years to your time."

"Oh, detective, detective, always quick with that tongue, you were."

"I don't bluff."

"I didn't suggest you did."

"So let us go."

"What bank robber ever let his hostages go?" Jane was silent at this. Now she understood. "No, no, I need you two. You two are my ticket to the border."

It was all about leverage.


	5. Daffy Duck

"What were you trying to tell me?" Frankie asked a worried Tommy, trying to soften the situation they were in. They didn't know _why_ Jane was in danger, but they still felt concerned. Their sister did not _cry_, and Maura had seemed genuinely panicked and thoroughly rushed. They had called Korsac several times only to get no answer, and so Frankie then called Frost explaining the situation and where to go. It turned out Korsac was with Frost and they were on their way to exit 39 on the main highway. All that happened about 10 minutes ago, and now Tommy and Frankie were on their way, police siren going, but the traffic was ridiculous.

Apparently there was some type of parade or fair going on, and everybody and their mother was going to it. Not even the police siren could really make a dent in the traffic. There was nowhere anybody could move too.

"We'll talk later." Tommy also shifted in his seat, because he was uncomfortable, and unsettled. He had a really _bad_ feeling.

The look in Maura's eyes scared him. He had watched her face the whole time. Her eyes showed confusion, concern, realization, panic, purpose, in a matter of seconds. Maura ran to her car after giving them their directions and instructions. She was gone so quickly Tommy barely had time to digest what had just happened, and for the seed of worry to plant deep in his stomach. That seed was planted now though, and Tommy felt sick.

"Tommy" Frankie paused, shifted in his car seat, and Tommy waited patently for him to continue. Frankie decided they _would_ talk later, saying: "Call Frost again."

Tommy thankfully did the job, which allowed him to put his nervous fingers to use. "Frost, it's Tommy. You guys in traffic?" He asked into the phone. "We're on our way, see you there." He continued after a pause, and then hung up. He glanced at the clock on the phone and it read 10:23.

After two minutes, the traffic let up a little, and Frankie was able to get past most of the cars. Two more minutes passed, and they were really close.

"Listen, Tommy, this might not be pretty. Maura knows something we don't, so we're going in like two blind men, but I think this has to do with the case they were working on. Some guy was killing cops." Frankie grimaced and tightened his grip on the wheel, running a red light. Then another.

Tommy's stomach clenched. "We're here." He said, and jumped out of the car as soon as it slowed.

Korsac and Frost were there, along with three back up police cars. Jane's car was all that was left with its flat tire. A note was found attached to her windshield that read:

_Stuart and Tremont UPS #0945_

_They'll be there by the day after tomorrow_

_1pm_

_They'll be unrecognizable when I'm done_

_-Daffy Duck-_

This was a crime scene.


	6. Much Needed Authors Note!

Hey guys! Thank you so much for reviewing my story. There are a few more surprises coming. And I think you'll like Maura a lot more when you figure them out. As for all the questions you guys have, well I'll answer all of them in time! And I especially appreciate those of you who are open-minded about the situation. I'm afraid if I say any more, I'll give it away, but continue reading, because I don't think you'll be disappointed! Also, I did not put Maura and Tommy together, the writers did, and I'm just trying to write a fun spin off of that "relationship". Anyways, I'm sorry for not writing for a while, school just picked up and I have a lot to do, but there will be an update soon! I just wanted to kind of clarify some things, and say hello.


	7. Avoiding Hope

Jane woke up first, David had slammed her in the trunk of his little blue Volvo with Maura, and besides the gash in her head- well, things were pretty uncomfortable all around.

It was pitch black in the trunk of David Danker's car, and the only reason Jane knew Maura was pushed up against her was because she smelt the over the top expensive lavender perfume.

Jane felt her borders to see how much room she had, and not surprisingly enough, she didn't have an inch.

It was starting to get really hot in the back of the damned trunk.

"Maura, baby, you awake?" Jane asked, more concerned than she thought she was.

In reply she received a muffled grunt.

"I can't move, can you?"

Another muffled grunt escaped Maura's throat. They were opposite, so Jane's feet were to Maura's head, and Maura's feet were to Jane's neck. That doesn't seem like an overly uncomfortable position, but consider the fact that they were squished in the back of a cop killer's car, and you end up with a pretty bad situation.

Jane felt Maura's high heel in her neck, and held back her immediate reaction to pull the pressure off.

"Maura, your heel is in my neck."

Several more uncomprehendable grunts later, and Jane figured the doctor had something over her mouth.

She shivered at the thought of duct tape.

"Alright baby," Jane replied, groping blindly for Maura's face, and awkwardly getting a palm full of breast instead. After several very inappropriate positions, Jane finally got the bandage in Maura's mouth off.

She gasped for air heavily, and Jane heard her heart beat go back to a kind of normal pace. They were, after all, in the trunk of a serial killer's car.

"Jane." She sounded exasperated and anguished. "Jane." She repeated with more hope. "Oh, Jane." Maura started to cry, as Jane found her hand in the darkness.

"No baby, don't cry. Please, Maura. It could be worse," Jane humorously laughed, "You could be stuck in here with Doctor Perfect T. Pike."

Maura calmed down, but her breath still hitched, "J-ane. You must know."

"All I know right now is that we gotta get out of here. Did he take your cell?"

"Yes, he emptied my pockets and took my purse."

"Same for me. Minus the purse."

Jane looked around in the dark, in vain.

"Jane, if we don't survive the evening, if we- if we die. If he kills us, I want you to know the truth"-

"Maura, I don't wanna know the truth about you and Tommy, I don't need details, and more importantly _I'm not going to let you die here_."

"No Jane, you don't understand."

"Maura, it's _okay_. I'm fine. What I said in my car- I just. I don't expect anything, okay? I'm sorry if you don't wanna be my friend anymore, or if I hurt your feelings, I really am, but I can't talk about it right now. I gotta get you out of here."

Maura bit her lip, what if they died and Jane never knew how she felt?

Just as Maura was about to blurt out, something- _anything_,

There was light.


	8. The Parting Glass

This chapter is inspired by Ed Sheeran's cover of The Parting Glass. I know this story is long over due for an update, hopefully this sets things in motion for more. Hopefully, enjoy.

Frankie's stomach clenched and he stood with that dreadful note in his hand, trying to keep it steady.

Tommy stood beside him, reading the note. He barely got through the whole thing the first time.

Tommy recklessly yelled at the other 5 policemen, "This is a crime scene! What are you doing! Do something! That's my damn sister for God's sake." He shook his head and banged his fist down on his older sister's car.

The others were frantically calling, notifying, gathering information- doing their job.

Tommy wouldn't stop, "Who's this jerk Daffy Duck? It's your job to keep us safe! You can't even keep your selves safe! That's _my sister_!"

Frankie still stood with the paper in his hand; he looked up to Tommy, who was screaming aimlessly, his throat vein popping, his hands waving around as he tried desperately to express himself- truly a Rizzoli.

"Hey, Tommy, calm down. They're trying to their job. We're gonna find her," Frankie tried to reason with Tommy but he wouldn't listen.

"Some sick fuck's got Jane! Don't tell me everything's gonna be fine." Tommy's voice was on the verge of breaking, "She's my sister…"

Frankie grabbed Tommy's shoulder forcefully, grounding him, keeping him from waving aimlessly.

"Hey, listen to me, she's my sister too. But you screaming at all of us isn't helping bring her back." Frankie told his younger brother firmly. "We gotta work together, call Frost, I'll call Kor"-

Tommy cut him off, "You smell that?" He sniffed again.

"What?" Frankie asked agitated and confused, sniffing the air, and then himself.

Realization crossed Tommy's face, "_Everyone!_ Run! Bomb!"

He grabbed Frankie, and continued to scream, trying to notify the others, "Bomb! Run!"

RIZZLESRIZZLESRIZZLESRIZZLES RIZZLESRIZZLESRIZZLESRIZZLES RIZZLESRIZZLESRIZZLESRIZZLES RIZZLESRIZZLESRIZZLESRIZZLES RIZZLESRIZZLESRI

"So Jane," Danker stared down at her as she squirmed and shifted to try and put her self in front of Maura. "I dearly hope you didn't like your car too much. I know all you detectives get a free car, but still, sentimental value and all. I really hope you won't be missing it too much, I don't want any bad blood between us. I think we're really starting to get to know each other- wouldn't want to spoil a blooming friendship, would we?" He smiled to reveal his slightly ajar teeth, one being silver.

Jane snarled up at him, "What did you do?"

"Well, you see, maybe if you ask a little nicer…"

Jane ignored his little game, and tried to look around him to see where she was.

All she saw, apart from his ghastly face, was blue walls, a rusty ceiling with wooden beams stripping across it, and a row of what looked like motor vehicles covered in white plastic. She had been working on freeing her hands, but her palms were too sweaty.

Danker slammed his hand down on the edge of the trunk, regaining her attention, "Maura, where's Jane's little brother, the screw up one? Have you seen him around?"

Jane's hands clutched the wire around his hands and tried to push it off- there was a sting, and blood started to drip down her wrists. _Tommy_, her gut clutched painfully.

Tommy and Maura.

Jane didn't see it, but Maura's face fell into painful recognition. She gasped, "N-no, no, you couldn't…" She heaved, and couldn't regain her breath. A tear fell down her cheek, "No!"

Tommy and Maura.

Jane stopped fiddling with the wire for a second to hear the catch in Maura's breath.

Her eyes hostile, her voice desperate, her hand bleeding, Jane growled, "Leave her alone you sadistic son of a bitch!"

"Jane- I… I'm so sorry." Maura's voice broke in Jane's ear, sticky tears tickling her jaw line.

Tommy and _Maura_.

"Oh Maura, dear, what have you to be sorry for? Did you blow Jane's little rescue team up? I thought that was me, but I guess you _were_ the one to tell them where to go, weren't you, you little smarty pants?" Danker asked completely serious, looking genuinely concerned. "Of course, you had to be there first, didn't you? To save the big dyke detective?" He snickered at himself, and shook his head, "Of course you did."

Jane tried with all her strength to pull off the wire, but so far she only budged it about a hair. "What ever you did to my brother, I swear you'll die for it. You hear me? You'll die." Jane told Danker, using the only power she had over him; her words.

Maura shook her head, "I'm so sorry Jane, I never meant for any of this… I told them to go, for backup, I didn't think this would happen… Oh, Jane"-

"Yes, yes, very sad and all. Now kindly shut up, I just came to… well, why did I come? Oh, yes. If either of you gives me any trouble, such that you try and open this trunk… Well, the car explodes. And, oh yes, in approximately 14 hours, you will be sent to your deaths, in this very car. Oh yes, scream to your hearts content, no one will hear you. Happy sleeping, ladies." And with a wide taunting smile he shut the trunk, and it was dark again.

Jane screamed in vain, boiling tears streaming down her flushed cheeks, "You're a dead man, Danker!"

Her voice broke, and then her mask of resistance did.

The only thing connecting Jane to the world was the pressure of Maura's head into the side of her own. The weight of Maura's legs entangled in her own, the hot tears which were not her own drying on her cheeks.

The darkness engulfed her, and she slowly started to settle into it, in a furry of panic, pain, and finally acceptance.

She would save Maura, that was definite. Her own savior, however, might never come.


	9. Unraveling The Darkness

The darkness in the trunk should have given the illusion of space, in the least.

But due to the prolonged exposure of my iris to these conditions, it really just made everything feel closer together.

Jane had tried to shield me from Danker, but he had seen me, as I had seen him.

Cold eyes and a cruel hollow smile, still taunted me as I closed my eyes to try and escape the darkness, ironically.

The silence was suffocating, the thick heavy air not helping the breathing situation.

Jane was still facing in the other direction as me, but I still felt her take every breath.

I counted her heartbeats, trying to distract my self from the situation before us. Trying to stop the inflammation of my lacrimal glands, without much success.

I tried to change position, as my arm was uncomfortably squished between the trunk floor and my upper body, when Jane groaned.

I froze, "Did I hurt you?"

She laughed heartily, and though it was physically impossible, it seemed as though she sucked the air out of my lungs.

Soon, her rough chuckle turned into a cough.

I tried to pat her back with my now free arm, but I was still very limited by the roof of the trunk.

"N-no, you just rubbed me in a very uncomfortable way…" She trailed off; I could hear the smile in her voice.

"How do you mean?" I questioned aloud.

"Well, maybe not so uncomfortably, but I sincerely doubt you meant it," She tried to turned herself over, to, I regretfully assume, look at me, but she only made it on her back, her long legs now jutting into mine. "You slapped my ass."

The pure ridiculousness of her remark twisted my panicked apprehension and utter hopelessness in to a nervous embarrassed smirk.

"Oh, Jane!" My lacrimal glands became inflamed, and I felt absolutely ridiculous for keeping silent about my feelings for this long. If anyone ever had a chance, this was it, right now. Sure, Tommy trusted me, confided in me, as I had him.

Sure, he held my heart firmly in his hand.

But what I hadn't realized was _I_ held my heart in _my_ hand, as well.

His knowledge could be shared.

Jane needed to know.

_There was a knock at the door one Thursday evening, and I instantly assumed it was Jane, which to my defense, was due to my hope that she would show up. Naturally, when I opened the door, it was not to the Rizzoli I was hoping it would be. "Tommy?" I said, more in shock than anything else, if not slightly disappointed Jane wasn't here for a surprise dinner and movie night. It had been a rough week, and I was hoping she would come here and silently comfort me, distract me, with her snide remarks and friendly banter._

"_Hey, Maura." Tommy's deep but boyish voice interrupted my thoughts, and thought he pronounced my name much like Jane, his rough boyish _More-ah_ was definitely less appealing than Jane's raspy but soft _Moor-ah. _I was silent, so he continued, "You got a minute?" He asked._

"_Yes, but I doubt you literally mean a minute. Would you like to come in?"_

"_Yeah, I just wanted to talk to you about something."_

_I stepped aside so he could come in, "Would you like a beverage?"_

"_Oh, nah." Tommy fidgeted, wiping his hands on his jeans, straightening his button down navy blue shirt, swiping his hair._

_I walked to my couch, gesturing him to take a seat._

_He hesitated, "Does my uh, Ma come through here a lot?" He asked nervously._

"_More occasionally than not. Would her presence be problematic to the purpose of this visit?"_

"_I would rather her not hear." He finally looked at me and smiled apologetically. _

"_We can talk in my bedroom, here, this way." Maura once again lead Tommy. She couldn't help but wonder what he wanted to talk about in private, or to note that he had never entered her bedroom before. Usually she was very conservative of who could enter her bedroom, but Tommy's nervousness seemed to hint at a genuine_ _problem_. _And besides, Jane was always telling her to trust her instincts and open up more- this was Jane's brother after all. She owed Jane, at least, to try to help her brother with what seemed like the unraveling of a problem._

_I sat on my bed, and awkwardly patted the space next to me, "You can sit."_

_Not knowing what else to do, he did._


	10. Hold My Heart In Your Hand

**A/N: This chapter is kind of choppy, and didn't come out exactly how I want, and I don't know if I wanted to share this part yet, but I feel like I'm going to lose readers if I don't clear some things up, and I know, I know, I shouldn't care or whatever, but it's so annoying when someone thinks I ship Tommy and Maura! Like dude go with the story! Anyways, not everything will be revealed. If you're interested in finding out what Maura and Tommy talked about, then try to get through this chapter, because though it may be misleading, I think it's worth it. Anyway HAPPY NEW YEAR and enjoy. Oh yeah, show and characters don't belong to me, I'd butcher them, and you'd all hate me. Duuuuh. Haha.**

**Oh. And I don't think Tommy is stupid at all. He's a Rizzoli. Rizzoli's aren't stupid. Except for maybe Frank.**

Korsac and Frost finally made their way to exit 39, when they saw Tommy and Frankie waving their arms around, motioning, and a group of police officers, running toward their car. Out of instinct, Frost stepped hard on the brakes.

Before they had time to respond, before they had time to wonder _what_ exactly Tommy and Frankie were motioning for, black smoke and orange fire engulfed Jane's car, and the crime scene at exit 39.

Luckily, the fire did not spread, due to the sudden strong rain, storming through Boston.

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_Tommy wasn't the kind of person to stop and think, as his long rap sheet with the police department indicated._

_He wasn't the type to ask his friends or his family for advice when a problem struck him as troublesome, or even strange._

_So when Tommy came to Maura to have a talk it was inevitably strange, but also frightening to him. Tommy didn't talk out his problems, he saw a way to act and he did, no matter what the consequences were later. He was just that type of guy._

_Except when it came to this. This problem that he had struggled with more or less through high school and this couldn't tackle today. He went to Maura's house that night, grasping to the rare courage he felt at actually sharing his problem, and his full trust in Maura not to laugh at him or even worse, judge him._

_After many years of feeling judged by his sister and older brother, Jane and Frankie, Tommy was relieved to find a friend in Maura, who did not look at him and see only his novelty rap sheet, see only his past, see only his mistakes, and his rash decisions._

_She looked at him, and he didn't see disappointment in her hazel clear eyes, but compassion, courtesy, and a light that had gone out in him once his father had divorced his mother._

_Tommy saw in Maura what he wished he could see for himself, faith._

_Faith that he wasn't how he was, that time had gone by and he was changed, touched by that time, just like everyone else. Faith that bubbled just close enough to the surface for Tommy to see, just close enough to make him feel understood._

_So that night he came to her, knowing full on why, but not for what._

_Would he use her to drown this, just a pawn in a chess game?_

_Would he talk to her about this, like he had to no one before?_

_Would he just sit and drink Jane's beer, while she drank her wine, and share the company?_

_Would he play chess with her, and let her win, because he wanted to see the triumphant smile on her face as she said checkmate, because he wanted to study her strategy without being distracted by his own?_

_Somewhere inside of Tommy's head a voice laughed at him, mockingly. Would he ever knock on her door?_

_So he did, like he took every challenge, except for the one he was about to face. _

_The war he was about to rage against himself._

_And now here he was, on Maura's bed, engaging in the most terrifying conversation he had taken part in, in his life, leaning close to her with each second, watching her thoughtful eyes try to formulate an acceptable response._

_But her eyes were too calculating, too slow in formulating, and Tommy couldn't take waiting, almost dreading, the switch in their expression, which he feared so wholeheartedly. Would they continue to understand, support, and accept? Would they become shocked, hurt, and disappointed?_

_Disappointed in the battle he had dodged practically his entire life?_

_Disappointed in him for finally breaking under the stress, the tension, and partaking in that battle, in her home, on her bed?_

_Tommy closed his eyes, unable to look at the eyes that had held him with such high esteem before, if they were about to turn on him now. Call him a coward, a failure, with just a flash of disappoint that he prided him self on not seeing on that shade of hazel._

_As Maura reached out to Tommy, still unable to respond to his confession, and took his hand in her own, his eyes remained closed._

_The fear plaguing him, paralyzing him, so that all that mattered was this moment, and everything else washed away with the force of this singular wave. This singular event in his life was one of his most important, most vital, because it would determine his future._

_He never considered his future before. Feeling undermined by his siblings accomplishments, washed out by his siblings disappointment, judgment, he never felt he had one._

_Never let himself wonder._

_Until this moment, with his eyes closed, with Maura's hand on his. Until he realized this was what he wanted, what he needed to fight for more than ever._

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After calling the expected outlets, which were meant to be called in the event of an explosion and other emergencies, and after they communicated that anything recovered from the explosion was to be filed under David Danker and promptly brought to the Boston Police Department. Frost, Korsac, Frankie and Tommy wasted no time getting back in their cars, and heading to the precinct.

They went in the opposite direction of the fair to save time. The rain fell heavily against the metal and glass of the car, the sky was black, with no moon in sight.

They came to an excruciating red light. "Holy shit, do you believe that? A bomb. We almost got blown up, by a _bomb_." Frankie was exasperated, unable to contain himself, unable to do nothing while Jane and Maura's lives were at steak. Tommy made no reply.

The hot air in the car seemed to suffocate, as Frankie drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. The constant thumping felt like a ticking clock programmed in Tommy's head. He couldn't take it any longer. Maura knew his secret, and now it was time for Frankie. The rain batted against the car, even louder, and Tommy felt his chance slipping away, causing him to almost scream- but again, his fear had paralyzed him, his voice. He felt like dead weight, and he just couldn't stand the feeling. Something animalistic in him snapped, he cared about the consequences this time around, he _cared_ so much, and it made him feel alive. He remembered Maura's eyes, how they hesitated, and then how they lightened, and lifted his spirits, lifted that dead weight away. It gave him hope, it gave him motivation- he cared so much it was choking him. He felt a hot sensation in his eardrums, a furrow in his eyebrows, a stir of sound in his throat.

"Frankie, I need to tell you something."

"Jane and Maura are locked up in a trunk, a cop killer holding the key, we just got bombed, along with all the evidence we had at that crime scene, damn near close to all the hope we have at catching this guy, and _you need to tell me something?_" Frankie asked his younger brother, worried about his sister to the point of not caring how angry he sounded and how uncivil his voice was toward his brother, who seemed pretty indifferent to his sister's safety and her happiness. Everyone knew Jane had a thing for Maura, and everyone suspected Maura had a thing for Jane. Couldn't his brother see how he was tainting their poser-board relationship, just like he did everything else? Didn't he see he was fucking them up? "Unless you tell me how to save her from another _monster_, like she saved me. Like she _saves_ _us all the time_, then I don't want to hear it, Tommy!

It's a shit time, I know," Tommy replied, almost losing his nerve, seeing the edge of a cliff in his brother's angry expression.

Frankie started drumming again, this time more forcefully and less consistently, "Can't you wait?" He asked impatiently. "Isn't there a damn better time for what you need to say?" He paused, his voice softening, "Can't you wait, so you can tell Jane and I, together?"

"No, Frankie. I feel like I've been waiting all my life, and now that I have the balls to say this, you're gonna listen," Their profiles were tinted red by the streetlight, "I know I'm a disappointment, and I know you and Janey are so high and mighty, and you expect more from me, and that's why you're so disappointed, but I also know that you guys love me. That's why I have to say this. She will find out, whether it's because of me or Maura, but you deserve to know, Frankie, and I need to say it now, or I think I never will," Tommy paused, vaguely wondering if he actually had the balls to say it, his dark eyes connected with his brother's lighter ones somewhere in the middle of his speech, their profiles shirted to green, as if to imply _go_, "I'm gay." This time he didn't close his eyes, he would face whatever reaction his brother had, and he would live through it, because his brother loved him, and he would understand.

Just like Jane would, when they got them out of that darned trunk, because despite what Frankie and all the other's suspected, he knew how Maura felt.

He entrusted his secrets in her, as she did him. They were after all, confidants, holding each other's respective hearts.

**I know what you're thinking. And no, I haven't forgotten what Jane said in the first chapter, trust me, but there's an explanation behind that too. Everything happens eventually, as the alter ego of Angel, Seely Booth, once said. Oh yes, readers! What do you think? Too much beating around the bush, not enough serial killer action? I'll have you know I don't do well with plot, so I think I've outdone my self here. But hey, that's what writing is about! Or at least Shakespeare tells me so...**

**Thanks for reading!**


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